farters have to be the big spoon...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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