That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
