it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
