This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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