yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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