so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
