so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
