It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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