I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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