i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
