I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My cat gives me a boner
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
