Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
