Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
