Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
