Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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