girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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