Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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