I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize