so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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