is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
