I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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