He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
