i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize