4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
