I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
