everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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