when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
