remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
