So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize