And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
