im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im holly from the hills drunk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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