No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
