Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
