My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
