Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
