I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
