carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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