i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize