Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.

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(785): View more from Kansas

a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class

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(937): View more from Ohio

Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

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(256): View more from Alabama

Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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(954): View more from Florida

You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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(303): View more from Colorado

So how'd the job interview go?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward

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(716): View more from New York

Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed

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