you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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