i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
