All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
