the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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