I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
