guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
