I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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