apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
