I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
