I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
