words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
