I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
