you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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