Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
