woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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