Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize