Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
