We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
