am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
