I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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