Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
