Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
A+ Viking dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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