so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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