While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
