I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
