He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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