He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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