my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
